I know this is a little weird for an affiliate marketing blog, but I totally have the hot’s for you, Michelle.

I thought you should know. How else would I ever get a date with you right?

As you know, we’ve all seen plenty of Michelle Rodriguez pictures around the Internet. You run the gamut of hotness. For serious.

Before you ask – No I’m not a stalker, not infatuated, or any of that freaky shit. I just think you’re a cool girl. I mean let’s be honest here. You’re fucking hot and you’re also a pretty great actress (is it called female actor now that we’re all politically correct and all that shit?) Not many people can bounce around from TV and Movies successfully, but somehow, you can. Props.

What about the farting incident?

Michelle. I don’t even care that you pass wind on national TV. In fact, I find it a little bit cute in a weird way. The fact that you’re so comfortable with yourself, being a celebrity and all, and showing you don’t care about what Perez or TMZ will say. That’s pretty cool in my books.

Drinking and driving?

Whatever. We all fuck up sometimes. So you like to drink the alcohol. I like to drink too, but I usually take cabs when I can. When we go out for drinks together, I’ll make sure we get you a cab home so TMZ doesn’t have any more fun with you. I don’t really dig beer; I prefer gin and tonics or vodka tonics. I imagine you’re a rum type of girl, am I right?

Lazy with the razor? Who gives a fuck?

I also don’t care that you don’t shave your pits every day – the French look kind of suits you. I understand that it can get annoying to shave all the time, and that razor burn really sucks. I don’t really blame you to be honest. I probably wouldn’t shave my legs and pits every fucking day if I were a girl either. I must say, it’s also pretty hot that you’re crazy enough to lick your own arm pit while the paparazzi are around snapping photos of you. Yet another point added to your coolness, Michelle.

Girls who can climb trees are cool.

You can climb trees. That’s rad. Nuff said.

Fast and the Furious

I do have to say though I was severely disappointed with your latest so-called “role” in Fast and the Furious part 4. You were billed as one of the main stars of the movie and you were only in it for like 5 fucking minutes. What the fuck is up with that. Waste of the rental fee or what. I really didn’t rent it to see Vin you know.

You’re a pretty nice person.

I’ve even heard through the grape vine (imdb forums) that you’re a super nice girl in real life, and haven’t let the celebrity status go to your head. Standing around chatting with fans, shooting the shit, getting pictures taken, etc. That’s really cool, a lot of people with your credentials wouldn’t even take a second look at mere “fans” that want to speak with you. I commend your ability to stay humble.

I’m pretty cool too.

I’m from Canada, thus not a dick like most of the boys you probably meet. I don’t care about your money. I don’t care about what people say about you, I am educated and not a lazy son of a bitch, hence this write up.

How to contact me for our date

Michelle, if you’re reading this and wondering “how do I contact this cool dude?

I’ll be in Vegas in January 2010 for Affiliate Summit West, we should hook up. Get your people to contact my people, and we’ll arrange it.


Comment by VB on 2009-09-13 14:07:04 -0500

Funny stuff. But hm, well maybe you should pitch yourself. You sort of said “You should go on a date with me because I look past all your mistakes and think you’re hot.” Well, it’s like, how nice of you. Puh-lease. She’s friggin hot as heck and cool and seems nice so I’m sure there’s a million people who would look past her past and get with her if they had the chance. Sell yaself boy! Whatchu look like, what do you have to offer HER? Tis the question!

Comment by Matt G on 2009-09-13 15:40:21 -0500


There’s a bit of a pitch towards the end. I wasn’t going for the hard sell, just tryin’ to make her smile should she actually read this.

Comment by VB on 2009-09-14 17:27:35 -0500

Good luck! Hey it worked for that guy and Drew Barrymore.

Comment by Jacky Majorenos on 2009-09-15 04:30:33 -0500

I prefer Angelina Jolie… But Michelle is great and a a hottie also…

Comment by Click on 2009-11-30 05:18:50 -0500

Hi, Just supposed I’d let you recognize your website is rendering weird in my K-melleon browser. Looks good from what I can see though.

Comment by Darryl Hill on 2009-12-25 07:42:53 -0500

I just fell in love with her after watching Avatar